The forms of separation we experience in life are many and manifest literally and figuratively. I’ve seen the power of divorce rip apart individuals and tear into families and wreak havoc on the psyche of a unit’s dimension leaving sadness in its wake. I’ve seen the terror of aloneness stifle people to the point where they reach for any connection that will enable them to move forward. Sometimes that comes in the form of a drug, a bottle, food, or some other addiction that coils itself around a sick heart and squeezes like a python until its prey ceases to exist, or it waits and lets the addict’s need incapacitate him as he slowly loses every ounce of dignity and slips into a prolonged coma from the world – functioning, yes, but slowly dying nonetheless.
It’s no joke and it can be all consuming. This sense of separation paralyzes motivation, anesthetizes meaning and creeps in calculated measures and leaves one feeling inadequate and alone. This sense of separation can diabolically turn meaning into nothingness like a nasty trick played by a bully.
In a sermon titled “We Are All Accepted,” the great theologian Dr. Paul Tillich said there are three forms of separation. “Separation from others, separation from self and separation from the ground of being.”
Sometimes society will do its part in rendering a person acceptable or unacceptable and create this chasm. Alienation is a powerful tool used by some in society to force the hand of others to meet the demands of conformity and acquiesce to societal standards or be driven from the tribe. It’s been noted that when one is cast from a tribe survival is compromised and chances of survival diminish. No doubt it’s easier to survive in community. In the words of John Donne, “No man is an island.”
Sometimes we aren’t even conscious of the act, but we can see alienation wearing the masks of racism, sexism, agism and any form of discrimination that looks to subjugate a person to a lesser place and undermine him with tags. We look the other way with no attempt to address the injustice.
Sometimes the subconscious mind takes on the sense of separation. Tillich says, it happens in the womb. “Existence is separation.” We are born to make our way back to God. I’ve heard this from other theologians who note we are born into this sense and Original Sin is a biproduct of feeling this.
However, the sense of separation arrives, it needs to be addressed. We all need to reconcile with our plight in the world and how we will cope with indecency or a perceived sense of disconnect. This sense of separation is a psychological barrier that imposes itself on the subconscious mind and it can impose problems that may manifest at a later date. Everything comes to the surface at some point in life whether we like it or not. A tortured heart will have its say in court.
I’ve considered myself pretty self-aware and a student of life as I work through theories and profound propositions to feed me. But a conditioned brain that has survived on an appetite of fearful responses and going along to get along has its own day of reckoning. The little lies I’ve told myself to make it through the day make their way to the surface and are laid bare waiting for me to address them and create an existential funk. Have I really been honest with myself? Have I really been true in being who God called me to be? What does God mean to me now at this point in my life? Are my old ideas of God faithfully serving me?
Psychologists note that this existential funk stems from the inability of the mind to contain its own understanding. We shed ourselves of old ideas as we evolve and acquire a new container from which to function and hold our new understanding of the world.
My guess is this is where mid-life crisis arises. As one evaluates his lot in life and how he relates to the world, he considers his position on functioning within it. He considers what he values and holds dear and looks to the future for taking his talents and using them for the common good of society. He maps out a new direction and forges a way that serves his understanding. Some of the measures he holds onto are carried in that container, as one would never deprive himself of a good tool for survival. Some of these tools for survival may have served our purposes, but they can also undermine who we’re called to be.
Therein, it seems, is the problem. When we project into the future or reflect on the past, we lose the present moment. If the brain trains itself on looking too far into the future, anxiety sets in. If we are stuck in looking at the past, we allow regret and sadness to settle in our hearts and depression manifests.
One remedy that is tried and true in all religious traditions is the act of being in the present. It’s hard to do. The prayers I’ve acquired and affirmations become stale and wash over me rather than feed me. Another medicinal property for this psychological distress is the recognition of “grace.”
Our sense of wholeness comes when we recognize the creative power of love. It is love’s fullness of expression that breathes new life in every soul. It is the inherit miracle of being and it begins with a simple act of developing a sense of self love and the knowledge that we cannot be separate and apart from love as long as the creative act lives.
Misperception is the central cause of this sense of separation. The tension that stems from the sense of separation can inspire one to go deeper and in the act of doing so he penetrates the critical point of understanding where grace resides.
Any religious tradition worth its weight talks about a portal of sorts that leads us to a deeper sense of amazement. It is the place of stillness where all light, all meaning, every expression of understanding resides beyond good and evil where sin cannot touch it. Merton noted, “It is a place where no sin and no illusions exist.” It is an experience of nothingness and everything all at once – a bifurcated river of personality which leads to a great ocean of Selfhood. It is the still point of Mystery where God resides and the ultimate reward of redemption. It is the quest for this place within that forges character. It is the quest itself that points us to immortality.
spirit beat 