Self-Awareness: A Character In Search of the Author by William Klein

There have been a few moments where people have delivered performances for the ages. The Buddha under the Bodhi tree when he became enlightened is a transcendent experience. Man, what I wouldn’t give to have been sitting there and see the visions he saw and witness the feeling of Oneness so completely. I sometimes wonder what it was like for Jesus to stand on that hill and deliver what is considered the greatest speech of all time, “The Sermon on the Mount.”

Consider being Michaelangelo and putting the last drop of paint on the Sistine Chapel and descending the scaffold. I sometimes wonder what it was like for Lincoln to look out over the crowd and to deliver the Gettysburg Address; or to have sat at the desk of Einstein as he changed the world with the theory of relativity; or to have been Neal Armstrong being the first human to stand on the moon and look out to the crystal beauty of his planet. 

A special moment in time mingled with the senses and the flow of adrenalin can render a moment sacred by a participant, and may even call it a peak experience of life and one for the ages.

We are a composite of memories from the perspectives of others, but the depth experience of life is ours and ours alone. There is an ineffable quality to expressing those singular moments of profundity in life and joy – giving birth to a child, marrying your soulmate, or a singular moment of ecstasy you know will never be replicated and never experienced again.

As I finish reading another great mystery novel, I’m reminded that books are like life. We only know what we know about a character based on what they say, do and what others say about them. The journey of understanding the character through tragic flaws and spur of the moment life and death decisions inspires a deep dive into the psychology of who the person is through backstory and past actions. We are observers of greatness but the potential for our own expression is always waiting in the wings.

Luigi Pirandello, the great Italian playwright, demonstrated this in his work “Six Characters in Search of an Author.” This play is a wonderful example of meta-theater, or a play within a play.

The plot is as follows: Actors are performing a play titled “Rules of the game,” when six strange people come and observe the rehearsal. The unfinished characters take matters into their own hands and show the actors what really happened and thus the drama begins. Pirandello’s play was received with mixed reviews until the playwright shared his philosophy behind it. He understood Shakespeare all too well, “The play’s the thing.” There is no substitute for the getting the straight skinny from the person who experienced it.

In the words of Shakespeare, “Life is but a poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage.” Who hasn’t moved through life and questioned who they are and what they are doing at any given moment? I think about times I’ve lost myself in deeper thought. How delusional am I to think this way when it seems no one else is seeing this? I then ask another person, and the point is made that I’m not crazy, and they think the same thing or can at least see the point and all is right with the world.

When I think of my own life, there are friends that inform different parts of me. Some people bring out the best in us and some the worst. Those that created the wounds saw a very different reaction to our responses than those who saw the happy go lucky side, detached side and optimistic person. Pull all these perspectives together and you have a complicated understanding of who a person actually is.

There’s a quote attributed to Bryan Stevenson, “We are more than the worst thing we’ve done in our lives.” I’ve heard this quote by other theologians and can’t pinpoint who it was that said, “We are greater than our worst sin.”  Suffice it to say, there are moments of weakness where we may have lost ourselves in the moment, but we are redeemed in the act of trying to be better.

A moment is yours for the taking and at any moment you can have that experience that the greats have experienced, or you can have a moment that may be your undoing. Athletes, politicians, movie stars and others in the spotlight have sometimes committed wrongs in the name of fulfilling the needs of their egos. They have lost themselves in moments and paid the price in tabloids and entertainment news. One moment of weakness and the wheels of the PR machine start turning.

Some people lose themselves in the quest for conquering worldly pleasures. The quest for power can inspire tremendous adversity and challenge the conscience in how far you will go in your willingness to attain that power, which begs the question, what is the deeper reality happening there? Why do you feel the need to acquire this power and what is it in your history that prompts the undertaking of this quest? What is it we have to prove to ourselves and why?

Monks can teach us lessons about humility. Having studied world religions, a common theme found in monastic studies is the quest to be true to attaining an understanding that serves you well in life so you may serve others. It’s not about the fame or fortune, but the quest of being true to the intention of being one with a Higher Being.

The religious who challenge themselves to meet this challenge have attained a nobility that is beyond this world. It is selflessness and annihilation of the self in the name of serving this world. What can be nobler than that? “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13)

There is something to be said for self-awareness and the ability to engage with yourself honestly and evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Something happens to you when you turn within and dedicate yourself to this “higher being.” A singular perspective that eliminates tension and a settling of the senses to allow clarity to manifest.

All religions make a strong argument for getting to know yourself. Whether it is through ritual practices, daily meditation, journaling or spiritual direction, a regular check in with yourself can reap tremendous rewards. People who discount counseling as a waste of time and money are missing the main point. A deep reflection and monitoring of your actions can lead you gently back to the true self you intended to be.

In the quest for self-knowledge and understanding, adherents to a spiritual discipline acquire a level headed even flow. St. Paul called it “the peace that surpasses all understanding.” This spiritual mindfulness leads to a peaceful disposition that can help one remain above the situation in the greatest of challenges in the world. It can also prepare us for that peak experience that awaits us.

The goal in life is to be present to the sacred moment of an experience on a consistent basis. We are the authors of our own greatness and can glimpse profound depths that can reach beyond this world in our visions of clarity and sacred strains of the common mingling with eternity.