All right, so I’m going through a mid-life crisis, so I got this idea to freshen things up. I told my nieces and nephews I’m reinventing myself, so I’m looking for a new moniker for the new year.
Sometimes you hear a name and you think, “Damn, that dude’s got it going.” Or as the kids say today, “He’s fire.” Or “He’s the main character” or “the blueprint.”
There’s something to be said for these monikers. They usually call out who the person really is or a shadow side of the person being described.
These days there’s some cool characters floating around out there. “Bad Bunny,” “Lil’ Baby, “Passion,” “Jay Z” and old school rappers and R&B and Rock n’ Rollers like “50 Cent,” “Ice Cube,” “Snoop Dog,” “Flavor Flav,” “Babyface,” “Bono” “The Edge.” Then there were the wrestlers, “Superfly,” “Nature Boy,” “Gorgeous George,” “Rick Flare,” “Hulk Hogan” and “Rowdy Roddy Piper” … The women with one word names are always great like “Beyonce,” “Rhianna,” “Madonna,” J-Lo you get the picture.
Back in the day, when I worked in the steel mills, they nicknamed me “Gumby” because I was skinny and my big steel toed shoes, big glasses and helmet made me look like the rubber cartoon character. Growing up they used my initials and called me B.K., but when I said something smart, they called me “Kleinstein.”
When I acted like a daredevil I was “Evil Kleineval.” Older people will know that this is a miss mash of Evil Knieval the legendary daredevil who famously tried to jump Snake River Canyon and was famous for jumping shark tanks, busses, cars and any other attention seeking stunt that would wow the masses on a Friday night. His remarks were always, “Don’t do what I’m about to do,” but my knuckleheaded noggin’ would have none of it, and I tried to jump bushes on my bike to no avail or tried to ski down some stairs with a popcorn bucket on my head like some kind of cartoon character going for a big laugh or even a giggle.
In those days drunken fools were called “mooks”; those who were self-styled modern Peter Pans who lived in a lost world of perpetual childhood and occasionally exhibited nonsensical infantile behavior that was comedic.
In the old days when advertisers were targeting teens, they used stock characters kids could readily identify. “Midriff” were girls who showed their belly buttons like Shania Twain and wore low cut shirts and Madonna laced blouses.
They still are up to the old tricks, but advertisers realize there’s not as much money to be made on elderly people while targeting the youth is a multi-billion dollar business. That’s why movies are targeted to kids; they know they can make it on multiple ends through marketing what’s “lit” or for elderly folks currently “cool” or “fly.”
Hm… What’s a name that suits me? I’m kind of old, bald and grey. How about “Crusty Crab?” Nah, too cynical.
Here’s a few other ones I considered: K dad, Buzz Mightier, Killer Magoo, Big Baby, Slug, Razer, Redd Hott – yes, 2 d’s and 2 t’s, DJ. Shizzle, Bam Man, Snopes Dog, Crusty Cred, B. Blessed, White Noise.
I had a vision of when I would go to Starbucks and they call up my name everybody looks. Coffee up for “Dr. Fizzle.” I can hear it now, “That guy don’t look like no rapper.” He looks like he done been rapped, but he ain’t fly.” Try it once when you call in an order. It’s funny to see people’s reactions. Some just sit and sip their mocha and drift off not getting the joke, while others sit up and take a look to see who fits the label.
Labels are an interesting thing. We’re all steeped in the business of placing them on others because it’s a convenient and quick thing to do. It’s easier to dismiss someone you’ve labeled.
Rumi said, “Don’t place me in a box and nail me to a coffin of words.” But that is exactly what we do. It’s easy to see someone’s political affiliation and label that person a “snowflake” for exhibiting too much compassion or a “MAGA” for one’s allegiance to a certain orange politician.
Everyone is seeking a real identity where he can be true to who he is and be relatable to others. The masks we wear and the social identity can compromise who we are truly called to be. In the end, the reality of eclipsing your true self and undervaluing who you are can be problematic.
I told a former student what I was up to and he just laughed. He saw right through it. “That ‘imposter syndrome’ goes against everything you’ve taught us and mocks everything you stand for.” He was right.
Finding an authentic voice that suits who you are, staying true to being honest with yourself and valuing the intangibles will satisfy your needs spiritually and may even make manifest a greater sense of persona that is invaluable.
Feeling comfortable in your own skin and identifying with those around you with that authentic voice can help others see something in being true to themselves. May this new year bring rich rewards and may you remain true to finding the center of your being and stay true to whom you’re called to be.
spirit beat 